I have no words.

My brain is exploding but I don’t know what to say.

The sun has come out but I don’t know that it’s day.

Time goes on and so does life but why do I feel so empty inside?

Is this how it will be, just waiting on my mind helplessly?

Why do the things happen that we pray to not?

The questions invade me and seem all consuming.

It is all I know and all I feel- can’t you see me breaking?

I don’t want to come off as clingy, so can you just ask?

No one needs to know about the demons that I show.

Our little secret it will be, only yours to keep.

Just be patient as I tell you everything.

Once it is all over I will retreat and regret the things.

I shouldn’t have spoken, I shouldn’t have dared.

If only I just held it in for one more day- to let it pass away.

Forgive me, I will now be, on my own, forevermore.

Just leave.

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Anxiety?

4-7-8-breathing-stop-anxietySuch a fun topic. The thought game. The panic game. I have this but this isn’t news. It just sucks when it gets really bad.

Your brain goes into over-drive and then you crash into depression. You can’t be both anxious and depressed at the same time but you can oscillate quite often. Your over-thinking leads into depression and vice versa.

I hate the symptoms of sweating. It just happens without me realizing it. Sometimes even when I don’t think I am anxious. The heart palpations. The closing of the chest. It is hard to breathe. Your mind is going a million miles a minute. Then sometimes you cry. This is more of a panic attack now. The feeling of complete uneasiness. You can’t move.  Continue reading