Anxiety?

4-7-8-breathing-stop-anxietySuch a fun topic. The thought game. The panic game. I have this but this isn’t news. It just sucks when it gets really bad.

Your brain goes into over-drive and then you crash into depression. You can’t be both anxious and depressed at the same time but you can oscillate quite often. Your over-thinking leads into depression and vice versa.

I hate the symptoms of sweating. It just happens without me realizing it. Sometimes even when I don’t think I am anxious. The heart palpations. The closing of the chest. It is hard to breathe. Your mind is going a million miles a minute. Then sometimes you cry. This is more of a panic attack now. The feeling of complete uneasiness. You can’t move.  Continue reading

Ramble of the INFP

shy-girlI disappeared for two weeks. At least it wasn’t a month.

I always feel like screaming. But I don’t. I don’t for fear of judgement. So I sit there. Quiet. Saying things under my breath or in my head.

When people say things about the stuff I am passionate about and I have a differing opinion I hold back because I hate conflict.  Continue reading

Do you ever feel used after a conversation?

But not by the other person but by you. Like you used yourself.

tumblr_m1j0uhvkb71qd0q92o1_250You shared too much. Word vomiting. Afterwards you don’t really know what happened. You have this weird physical reaction in your whole body. It physically takes over but you can’t explain it. You try to remember why you said the things you said. Wishing you had clarified things or left things out.

I have had this feeling so many times when talking to people. It is like what just happened? Why did I bear my soul so much or share my personal ideas or opinions on things. Was it just because I was trying to fill the space and so I just kept saying the first thing that came to my mind?  Continue reading

It has been a week.

And oh how it has been a week. It is always been A WEEK. So let us talk about things.

My friends have also been pretty amazing. But when are they not. I spend so much time with them and they are starting to get me so well. It is feels really great to be known.

businesswoman with a note-bookI have been working on a TV show idea for the past few weeks that I have had floating around in my mind for two years. Now I am finally starting to organize it and outline it.

I got a job at a Dude Ranch (that happened two weeks ago). That is really exciting but also scary. My first job and it is all summer out of state. I have been there before and know I will have fun but it is also so outside of my comfort zone. Continue reading

Cynics are broken-hearted idealists?

largeWow. Okay. Let’s do this.

I have seen the world for what it truly is. All of the darkness and despair. And it hurts.

I looked up if INFP’s hate people because sometimes they anger me beyond any end. Let me explain the current situation.

I have a lot of people telling me that 2016 was a terrible year and they are glad it is over. Ready for 2016. BUT WHY?

Most can’t give a real answer or just brush over exterior events. They either don’t want to share with me why it truly sucked or let things that don’t affect them control them.  Continue reading