Ramble of the INFP

I disappeared for two weeks. At least it wasn’t a month.

I always feel like screaming. But I don’t. I don’t for fear of judgement. So I sit there. Quiet. Saying things under my breath or in my head.

When people say things about the stuff I am passionate about and I have a differing opinion I hold back because I hate conflict. 

Do you ever feel used after a conversation?

But not by the other person but by you. Like you used yourself.

You shared too much. Word vomiting. Afterwards you don’t really know what happened. You have this weird physical reaction in your whole body. It physically takes over but you can’t explain it. You try to remember why you said the things you said. Wishing you had clarified things or left things out.

I have had this feeling so many times when talking to people. It is like what just happened? Why did I bear my soul so much or share my personal ideas or opinions on things. Was it just because I was trying to fill the space and so I just kept saying the first thing that came to my mind? 

It has been a week.

And oh how it has been a week. It is always been A WEEK. So let us talk about things.

My friends have also been pretty amazing. But when are they not. I spend so much time with them and they are starting to get me so well. It is feels really great to be known.

I have been working on a TV show idea for the past few weeks that I have had floating around in my mind for two years. Now I am finally starting to organize it and outline it.

I got a job at a Dude Ranch (that happened two weeks ago). That is really exciting but also scary. My first job and it is all summer out of state. I have been there before and know I will have fun but it is also so outside of my comfort zone.

When Your Whole Blog Post Gets Deleted.

I had this whole thing about traveling alone and the tips I learned. It was short and sweet and to the point. And then it all got deleted. Gone- just like that.

It sucks when your work is just no longer there. It was there one minute and then a glitch just made is disappear. No draft saved or anything.

I want to do this whole blog thing because I love to write and get my thoughts out. It would only make sense that I share that with the world. Or more like the three people that actually read it.