I am having one of those moments. The time that I just shut down, or maybe wake up. Everything that I have been suppressing comes to the surface and takes over my whole body. It is like my internal systems are just learning how to function again- going into overload. It radiates throughout my entire body and I usually end up crying. Anxiety with the numbness going away.
It happens about once every two weeks. But to think that I am not truly letting myself feel until then- means a lot. I like to hide that part of me from myself. Forget about it, or else I fear that I won’t be able to get on. That realization of how dark and cruel life really is. How much it hurts and is filled with pain. The irreplaceable kind that can’t be given back. It is just over in the blink of an eye. Continue reading