So I am writing a TV show- or at least outlining it. I am also writing a book- although that has been on hiatus for three months now. Whoops. I moved on.
This is what I mean. It never ends because I always hit a road block, lose inspiration, or gain it for something else. It isn’t that I don’t like the idea anymore it is just once I have lost my groove it is hard to get it back. It may take a week or a month or maybe years.
Once you actually finish one of your projects. Then you have to edit. Realizing how much of a piece of trash it was. This is the most debilitating part for me. I can come up with ideas all day. Writing down the outline or first few lines is an accomplishment. Actually writing it is practically a miracle. I probably won’t actually finish one, but if I do? Oh gosh, editing would be the final thing to kill me.
It is not that I am opposed to editing. I know I need it. I just don’t want to take the effort of doing it. What if the new edit is worse than the original? What if I realize that I wasted all my time and have to start over? It is probably the most dreaded thing for most people, but at least you got to it. I still haven’t finished a novel. Oh I know how they end, or will most likely end. I may even know that before I write down a word. But for some reason once I get to a certain point in the book- I just give up.
I also rush things to no end. I know where it is going and therefore I want to get there as soon as possible. I hate filler things that take up unnecessary time. I know it is about the journey and trust me I love the journey but when you are the one writing it- you just want to skip ahead to the good parts. The first meet. The kiss. The break up. The get back together. I write romance if you couldn’t tell. I feel bad because my mind is bursting with all of these amazing ideas but I can never get them out there in the world.
Let us not forget that I am a perfectionist and don’t want to show people my work until it is perfect. Well that will never happen if I don’t just finish it. Basically I am saying I need someone else to write for me. I dictate to them the plot and some of the details but they actually write it down for me. I have come to this conclusion because I know it is the only way my great stories will get out there. Hence why I want to be the show runner or creator of a TV show and have a team of screen writers actually implementing it all.
Maybe one day I will get my crap together enough and get something done. I would also like to note that stupid life responsibilities usually breaks up my creative flow. I am trying to deflect as much as possible. But I know it is all on me.