I have started writing again for the first time in a long time. Like actually writing. Something with a purpose and with direction. I don’t give up after a while. My goal is to let this story take its course, going for the long haul.
The thing is I don’t know if my story is even any good. I like how unique and intriguing my story is but what if I don’t develop it well, making it too cliche or boring. It could not have enough detail or terrible structure. I am actually really excited about it but am afraid that all of this work will turn up for nothing.
I guess if anything it will teach me to write better. This book will be my jumping ground for my future novels, knowing what doesn’t work and what does. The main thing is I am writing which is half of the battle. Getting it from your head to the computer. It is all so very terrifying though. Something you love to do but actually being terrible at it.
It would be amazing to have writing as a job. Anything you put out, people want to read. Whether it is a big following or a small one. It is one. You are able to make a durable living for yourself and produce work that you are proud of. That make a difference on other people’s lives. Inspire them, make them feel something, let them escape into a different reality. Get to be friends with these characters that you have created, having them invested in the outcome of the story.
So many people would love to write, so many people do. But who actually reads those books. Whether fiction or non fiction. It is hard to come up with something new. But the second I think that everything has been done before- I realize I am the only me. So even if someone did something similar, they have never done it the way that I would. I guess it is about not giving up. Through the discouragement, bad ideas, writers block, and failed attempts. The best thing we can do is keep going through it all.
To get to tell my stories, other peoples or just ones I have come up. Explore the world and pull from everything that I encounter. To get a cabin in the middle of nowhere on a lake spending my days exploring in the day and writing in the night. Or to get a place on the beach with the sand in my backyard, looking at the great unknown that is available to me. There is so much beauty in the world and so much beauty waiting to be recorded.
You will get to connect with the few or great people that read your books. As they await every release date with much anticipation. You feel more of a sense of duty to yourself and them than you do that publishing company that finally gave you a break. You try not to feel the pressure to produce your next great work as everyone waits. But at the end of the day you remember that they were attracted to you for some reason. The way that you wrote, told your stories, and developed your characters. They are all a part of you and as long as you love it- that is all that matters.
If I could write, I would realize how much of a privilege and an honor it is to have such a job. The job for the imaginaries. The visionaries. The idealizers. And the dreamers. My people. Although I don’t love reading as much as most, I do so love to tell stories and that is my path. Let this be in my archive for if one day I can look back at this and realize that I can write. To have the acclaimed title of author.